Comments for Island of Pain

Comment on Poll – Is BDSM the Result of a Trauma? by Leo

Leo — Wed, 16 May 2012 17:17:49 +0000

No of course not what a stupid question is this. BDSM is absolutely a religion and a result of love. It’s a realistic lifestyle as well what deserves more respect from conservative society. Jeroen

Comment on Symbolic Treasures BDSM Jewelry by Julie

Julie — Sun, 13 May 2012 23:50:57 +0000

Their items are nice, but over priced. 125.00 for sterling cufflinks is too much. The padlocks are another example of extreme mark up. Several of them are available on eBay for just a few dollars, yes, the exact same ones. And yet, they have them for 30.00 each.I too want nice jewelry that reflects our community, but price gouging wont get my money.There are nice artisan BDSM Emblem items on etsy these days for a fraction of the cost.

Comment on BDSM Jewelry by Kenya

Kenya — Sun, 13 May 2012 23:31:00 +0000

PureTNT is not banned from PayPal. PureTNT’s issue is their popularity. It is run by one person who makes the jewelry from her home. If you look at their counters unique hits, you can see the volume of traffic, if only 1% shops they are very busy. I have bought many items from them with no issue over the last 10 years.Given it is very easy to get a refund with any purchase made with paypal, your purchases there are safer than any you make most anywhere else. I wouldn’t judge a site based on 2 or even 10 unhappy customers given the volume and the many happy customers. That’s just bad math to judge them that way. No place of business has a 100% happiness rate.And fet’s stuff tho nice is way over priced and you only have about 5 styles to choose from.

Comment on BDSM Documentary – Heaven & Hell by Fammy

Fammy — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:30:23 +0000

Sometimes I wish I had a rubber/latex material fetish or pony-play fetish, it looks like so much fun!

Comment on Island of Pain is Having a Birthday by fedeilia

fedeilia — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 18:16:54 +0000

Hello, Congradulations on your Birthday for this blog.
I am in SL as a submissive, and I’m taking a refresher course for being a sub from Darkside Club, from a Master who has 20 yrs rl experience. He is including rl experience with in the class. I have do not have any rl experience, although I want it , and I need it., and finally I am accepting that this is a part of me.
fedeilia/alienorifice SL
PS alienoriffice is an instrumental by Frank Zappa

Comment on A Reason For My Silence by maxnsk

maxnsk — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 07:59:06 +0000

Good to hear you again! Nice illustration.

Comment on The Shockspot Fucking Machine by Kink Master

Kink Master — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 08:14:15 +0000

@cybernate The main reason why the HugHer is superior is that the shockspot just do in-out pattern. You can of course change the length and depth but this is still the same classic pattern that aby other machine are are to do: go in, slow down, go reverse way.

The Hugher is the only machine that does thing like going out at a different way, or going in in thre shots, even at different speed. It also has real tantris patterns. None of this could be achieved by the shockspot.

Comment on Growing into things – A symbiotic dance by Stoltz Sinatra

Stoltz Sinatra — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 14:20:40 +0000

@Graydancer @cherrysredshoes I think you are spot on when you claim that with trust comes vulnerability, I usually talk about exposure. You need (as a Dom) to expose your emotions, as well as your inner core, if you want your submissive to trust you. Sometimes parts of the BDSM community grow the myth that a Dominant should be the strong, tall and silent stranger with everything under control.

To some extent that is true, the Dominant should always be in control, but the Dominant is also a human. As a Dominant I cry, I get emotional, I hate, I love and I commit myself to my submissive – Fully and with no restrictions. I don’t hold back at all, which also means that I have to honestly expose my weaknesses and by doing so I’m also showing my submissive that the relationship is an honest one and hiding behind masks isn’t doing the relationship and the BDSM journey any good.

I’m leading by example and if I open up fully then my submissive will also open up and trust me, as trust is always a two way street.

Thank you for a great comment that made me develop my thoughts a bit further.

Comment on BDSM Humor of the Week – Tango! by Bdsm humor | Killersquad

Bdsm humor | Killersquad — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 16:44:37 +0000

[...] BDSM Humor of the Week – The Masochism Tango | Island of PainJan 20, 2011 … Tom Lehrer’s famus The Masochism Tango – A testament to the fact that BDSM is timeless. [...]

Comment on The Shockspot Fucking Machine by cybernate

cybernate — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 11:49:38 +0000

I am comparing the Shockspot and the Hugher and I don’t see how the Hugher is superior. The shockspot has unlimited move profiles and is built to last forever. I also like the fact the shockspot can be controlled remotely from anywhere in the world. Can you please send a picture of both machines side by side, I would love to see the camparison.

Comment on The Construction of a BDSM scene – Prelude by txeggplant

txeggplant — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 13:13:40 +0000

I think the difference between Behavioral Modification and brainwashing is fear. Brainwashing uses fear to manipulate, while successful Behavioral Modification changes negative behavior so that positive results are achieved. Ideally of course! A sub will be pushed to step outside their limits for positive results as long as their Master has their best interests in mind. A sub is a reflection of the Dominant so why would the Dom want a messed up sub LOL?

Comment on Growing into things – A symbiotic dance by Graydancer

Graydancer — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 19:27:44 +0000

Great post – it brings up a lot of the ideas that have come up in recent workshops I’ve attended, as well as a presentation I put together with @cherrysredshoes for the Ann Arbor GRUE. We always talk about communication as necessary, but using it as a vehicle for trust is not always emphasized. The thing is, the flip side of trust is vulnerability, and it takes a lot of vulnerability to authentically communicate your needs. “What if he thinks I’m a wussy dom if I say I want a hug after the scene?” “What if she thinks I’m a bad sub if I ask her to hit me so hard I can’t think straight?” Taking the risk to really say what you want: that takes courage. Or, as one master at the Vancouver GRUE put it: “I am so in LOVE with my sub as I beat her, I’m crying with joy. Isn’t that weak?”

The rest of us sat in stunned silence for a moment, then agreed. “No. You have to be incredibly brave to allow yourself to feel that deeply.” I’m sure I was not the only one who wished they had that kind of courage…

Comment on The Importance of Mistakes – BDSM Processing 101 by Stoltz Sinatra

Stoltz Sinatra — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 11:37:12 +0000

Thank you for your kind comment.

I do recognize your reference to fear as a hurdle that effectively prevents people from learning. I believe that people would learn more if they were just a bit more fearless when it comes to personal prestige and how others might perceive them if they make a mistake.

My experience is that it also a question about cultural preferences, in some cultures it’s more acceptable to make mistake than in others. Mistakes should always, in my opinion, seen as learning experiences and when that happens then we start to “listen” to our mistakes instead of applying avoidance.

BDSM, and everything else in life as you insightfully point out, is all about a lifelong learning experience – What would it all be without the element of learning from new experiences?

Comment on The Importance of Mistakes – BDSM Processing 101 by @MsAMarchant

@MsAMarchant — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 22:44:15 +0000

A wonderful post, with an important message for life, as well as within the BDSM context, I think.

Many years ago, I taught English to German business people. They were so terrified of making mistakes that their fear was blocking their development and learning ability. No matter how much I encouraged them to relax, they *knew* they didn't have all the knowledge and were damned if they were going to demonstrate the fact by trying to speak and making mistakes. In the end, I flipped things on their heads. I asked them to come up with sentences which were 'wrong', ie. contained mistakes. Deliberately. It totally fried their brains initially, but it did have the desired effect… by embracing mistakes, they freed themselves up to learn the same lessons they'd have learned if they'd got the sentences right anyway.

For me, the answer to your question 'Why do mistakes happen?' Is intrinsically linked to your point 4. They happen not because I'm sloppy* or ignorant of my ignorance, but because I AM learning, I'm growing. I love learning, I'm committed to learning until the day I pop 'em, and I fully understand that there absolutely cannot be learning and growth without mistakes and cock ups. If you're not failing, you're not challenging and stretching yourself. Simples.

And as you so rightly point out, it's how you handle and process your mistakes that is important.
Great food for thought. Thank you.

*OK… I might have been sloppy once or twice…

Comment on Visual Week – Pull My Hair by @yogeshthegenius

@yogeshthegenius — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 07:46:31 +0000

lovely!!!

Comment on Visual Week – Gagged & Clamped by @yogeshthegenius

@yogeshthegenius — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 07:43:14 +0000

wow!!! my mouth watered on seeing this pic, its so arousing and tempting. Thanks for sharing it

Comment on BDSM humor of the week by Stoltz Sinatra

Stoltz Sinatra — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 12:29:58 +0000

It's a bit of a word game, "bank account" versus "spank account"

Comment on BDSM humor of the week by @yogeshthegenius

@yogeshthegenius — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 06:02:39 +0000

I didn't quite get this one!!!

Comment on BDSM Humor of the Week by @yogeshthegenius

@yogeshthegenius — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 05:59:59 +0000

Comment on Can I ever go vanilla again? by scarlett

scarlett — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 03:25:30 +0000

Wow! My life exactly at this point. I feel as if I am suffocating from my vanilla world. It saddens me to think I will have to leave this man I have loved for 13 years to save myself. The more I examine myself I know it will happen. All my BDSM items have been stored in the chest at the bottom of our bed for those 13 years. Easy access. But never used. The whip I gave as a gift has collected dust and needs to be broken in again.