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Currently viewing the category: "Aftercare"

The Importance of Mistakes – BDSM Processing 101

On March 7, 2010 By Stoltz Sinatra

I had an online conversation the other day with a person about mistakes.

To cut a long story short, he did something in a group that was a little bit out of line according the etiquette within that environment. He apologized over and over again, which I thought wasn’t necessary as mistakes happen. He then pointed [...]

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Clear safewords are important

On December 9, 2009 By Stoltz Sinatra

It is of utter most importance to have clear and understandable safewords – If not, then you might end up in trouble.

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What is a good submissive?

On April 14, 2009 By Stoltz Sinatra

I talked to a friend online a couple of weeks ago and she told me that she wasn’t a good submissive due to the fact that she did things on her own in play and didn’t always listen to the person dominating her. This made me think for a while about what is a good [...]

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What the fuck is sexy about humiliation?

On February 28, 2009 By Cloud Bracken

What the fuck is sexy about humiliation?
That’s the question my sister asked me and I was speechless. I had no answer. Not a word to say in response. How to explain to my strong educated sister that HER strong educated sister gets turned on, in fact wet, when her “Master” tells her she [...]

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Better late than never, Kandinsky Beaumont

On February 17, 2009 By Stoltz Sinatra

Things have been busy here, so it has taken me a while to do a response to Kandinsky’s latest response to my post – but finally here it is

When explaining how, what Kandinsky continuously calls “Master and Slave games”, are sometimes done, then I can only explain how I think and work. [...]

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A dose of Saturday ignorance thanks to Kandinsky Beaumont

On February 8, 2009 By Stoltz Sinatra

There are different people in our world and different levels of acceptance, but the most dangerous thing, in my opinion, is when people with their lack of knowledge try to make conclusions without even the slightest hint of investigation.

I got a whisper in my ear about this article written about Master and slave [...]

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Importance of aftercare

On January 20, 2009 By Stoltz Sinatra

Aftercare is a very important concept within BDSM and an uttermost necessity. Aftercare is, to me, not just the cuddles, getting fluids or providing a blanket. It is also the occasion where the dominant and submissive pick up the experience of the scene/training that they have done together. Aftercare means rationalisation and putting words to [...]

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The importance of boundaries

On December 8, 2008 By Stoltz Sinatra

I always tell people how important it is to have a boundary discussion before you even start to do BDSM with someone. Fine – You have done all the preparations and had that discussion, then what?

One thing that I find hard is actually to tell when then BDSM session should start, as I am not living [...]

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Summary of march discussion group

On April 1, 2008 By Stoltz Sinatra

Once a month we have a discussion group on the Island of Pain in Second Life. This is a result of our ambition to push the learning experience within BDSM through knowledge sharing.

The question this time was: How to plan a good scene? (perparations etc.)

The question was more targeted towards dominants, but the [...]

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How to be a good dominant

On February 28, 2008 By Stoltz Sinatra

I always get the question, how to be a good dom.

Let’s first start with the biggest misunderstandings:

Being a dominant doesn’t mean that you have to be rude. A lot of people that try the occasional BDSM in Second Life actually think the more rude you are, the more dominant you are. That is wrong and it’s probably due to [...]

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Watch Out For The Grapist - This one might not be totally BDSM related unless your mind starts to drift... http://t.co/OUVsZ9rB #BDSM  — bdsmlifestyle