Comments on: Francis Bacon – Sado-masochistic Painter or Just a Stereotype? http://islandofpain.com/2009/12/02/francis-bacon-sado-masochistic-painter/ Living BDSM as a Second Life and in Real Life Wed, 16 May 2012 17:17:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Sadey http://islandofpain.com/2009/12/02/francis-bacon-sado-masochistic-painter/comment-page-1/#comment-5843 Sadey Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:18:36 +0000 http://islandofpain.com/?p=1796#comment-5843 You make really good points. I had a lover once who loved to beat me, particularly with his belt. He claimed this was as a result of his father beating him. We all try to figure out why we are the way we are, kinky or not. For those who did experience childhood trauma, they are correct to wonder if that trauma in some way effects who they are today - whether or not they are kinky at all. A gay person may be gay from the start, but how he lives his 'gayness' might be a result of his early development. Likewise, a sadist may be a sadist from the start. But how he channels his sadism might be a result of his early development. It's all a mix of nature and nurture. Causes and effects. Loves and un-loves. Me? I wonder what makes me the masochist pain-craving crazy I am. I guess we're all crazy in our own ways. :) xo! ~Sadey You make really good points. I had a lover once who loved to beat me, particularly with his belt. He claimed this was as a result of his father beating him.

We all try to figure out why we are the way we are, kinky or not. For those who did experience childhood trauma, they are correct to wonder if that trauma in some way effects who they are today – whether or not they are kinky at all.

A gay person may be gay from the start, but how he lives his ‘gayness’ might be a result of his early development.

Likewise, a sadist may be a sadist from the start. But how he channels his sadism might be a result of his early development.

It’s all a mix of nature and nurture. Causes and effects. Loves and un-loves.

Me? I wonder what makes me the masochist pain-craving crazy I am. I guess we’re all crazy in our own ways. :)

xo! ~Sadey

]]> By: The Goddess Nibiru http://islandofpain.com/2009/12/02/francis-bacon-sado-masochistic-painter/comment-page-1/#comment-5824 The Goddess Nibiru Sat, 10 Sep 2011 05:23:57 +0000 http://islandofpain.com/?p=1796#comment-5824 As you know, I agree completely with your assessment. I have posted my thoughts on this before. So, I will present my own experience this time. I come from a regular old two-parent working class family. I had a dog and a cat and we had a couple of used cars in the back driveway. My Mom was from down south and my Dad was raised in a N. East Jersey Suburb. I was raised in a rainbow coalition, college town in Jersey. From a very young age, I was self-directed, had my own thoughts and opinions and was very difficult to sway. I did not go for the he-said-she-said garbage of Junior High or the melodramas of High school. And ever since I was 12-13 years old I have not placed too much stock in what people think about me. So - there you have it. I have always been Dom material. If there is any 'pivotal point', I guess it might be when I was 9 years old and was watching the TV show Batman. There, on the screen, was this incredible looking creature: brown skin, like mine; a sultry, heathered-honey voice slinking across the room. She was donned in a black rubber suit...and those boots, ayi -- those boots. I wanted those boots and didn't stop looking until I found them in a thrift shop in 1977 at age 17. The exact type: roach killer pointed toes, 3" spiked heals in shiny latex ending just above the sexiest part of the calf. I was in heaven. In High school, I had no official knowledge of BDSM, yet I was participating in role-play with my friends and intimate boy-friend. I was always open-minded about relationships. My friends used to refer to me as the 'Flower Child'. It would be a couple more years before I would run into info on the Lifestyle. Sorry, NO child abuse or traumatic incidents. One could point to the insults and negative experiences I was exposed to growing up Black and female in America in the late 60s and coming of age in the late 70s/early 80s, yet I am not the only one who has had to endure that -- and I know plenty of Sistas who aren't in the Lifestyle or they're Subs. So - there you have it. I have always been Dom material. As you know, I agree completely with your assessment. I have posted my thoughts on this before. So, I will present my own experience this time. I come from a regular old two-parent working class family. I had a dog and a cat and we had a couple of used cars in the back driveway. My Mom was from down south and my Dad was raised in a N. East Jersey Suburb. I was raised in a rainbow coalition, college town in Jersey. From a very young age, I was self-directed, had my own thoughts and opinions and was very difficult to sway. I did not go for the he-said-she-said garbage of Junior High or the melodramas of High school. And ever since I was 12-13 years old I have not placed too much stock in what people think about me.

So – there you have it. I have always been Dom material. If there is any 'pivotal point', I guess it might be when I was 9 years old and was watching the TV show Batman. There, on the screen, was this incredible looking creature: brown skin, like mine; a sultry, heathered-honey voice slinking across the room. She was donned in a black rubber suit…and those boots, ayi — those boots. I wanted those boots and didn't stop looking until I found them in a thrift shop in 1977 at age 17. The exact type: roach killer pointed toes, 3" spiked heals in shiny latex ending just above the sexiest part of the calf. I was in heaven. In High school, I had no official knowledge of BDSM, yet I was participating in role-play with my friends and intimate boy-friend. I was always open-minded about relationships. My friends used to refer to me as the 'Flower Child'. It would be a couple more years before I would run into info on the Lifestyle.

Sorry, NO child abuse or traumatic incidents. One could point to the insults and negative experiences I was exposed to growing up Black and female in America in the late 60s and coming of age in the late 70s/early 80s, yet I am not the only one who has had to endure that — and I know plenty of Sistas who aren't in the Lifestyle or they're Subs.

So – there you have it. I have always been Dom material.

]]>