We have a monthly discussion group on the Island of Pain and this month’s question was: What are the implications of Switching?
It’s always interesting to hear peoples opinions, and be able to voice your own without feeling like you have to agree with everyone..or step on egg shells, we can actually be open….each to their own is a common thing used and even in BDSM when the basis for all of our relationships is similar we get to learn from others as no matter how experienced people are I think we can always learn MORE, there is no harm in taking advice from Anyone be it they are a Sub or a Dom/me
Anyway to the question, My personal opinion is very much inbetween about Switches, I’m not sure if it’s a confused matter of them not being able to give total and utter control to the Dom/me for always they have to get their own in, maybe they get bored or something, personally i think if you’re a Switch you’re not a true sub, that doesnt mean to say i don’t think you can be submissive i just think a sub is willing to give ALL to their Dom/me and not question later on, i know it certainly is a common thing i hear that people get confused when dealing with switches, they don’t quite know where they stand with them “are they a Dom, do you submit to them? or do you Dominate them.”
One thing i absolutely cannot and probably will not ever understand is how a Dom/me can allow their sub to dominate another, its I feel rediculous, i see a Dom/me and a sub then i see the Dom/me watching that sub dom another, its mental! which kind of touches on the other thing i think it utterly wrong and that’s Alpha subs *buahahaaaa* a Sub is a SUB they are not on different levels to other subs, face it if you want to be or have the need to be a higher sub then why is that? it’s because you have either got control issues or maybe personal issues that make you want to be number 1.. well come on get a grip huh? we subs are not in a position to be having priviledges of being above another sub… ok this part was a little off subject but im rambling here so i may aswell take up one post rather than several 
Ok getting back to it, I basically think if you are a switch, the best thing is to keep them totally seperate from each other, but hey just my opinion 
Ok I have rambled enough for now, I will be back to extend this subject and more esecially when we have our group discussions which you should all come to, its a good laugh *especially when My Master pulls the floor from under you (literally)
Afterword: What I didn’t get around to saying was that This is and all of my posts and I think the whole blog is about Real Life not about Second Life, I wanted to point this out so there is no confusion for all of us, People who can swap and change and stay in their roles in Seond life are…well…pretty talented in my opinion… it takes a lot of work to stay in vocus the whole time… i’m going to start another post on SL “stuff”..later on
Well I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this Discussion, for several reasons, Firstly i’m a big Accent girl so hearing so many voices made a nice change, instead of hearing Stoltz yap on like he does ~*will get in trouble for that comment*
Thank you to everyone who turned up and gave their opinions Stoltz and I really appreciate it, And we hope of course that you enjoy yourselves too.
It gives us all a chance to talk in open, OOC and talk about things we don’t get time for usually.
No related posts.
Thank you so much for the discussion group yesterday. It was the first time I had been able to participate in one and I found it very interesting. Not to mention a “ground breaking” experience. LMAO I got a lot out of it and learned more information. As for the switching thing, I don’ quite understand it, but then again, I’m a complete sub. But if being a switch works for others, more power to them!
Well – I am with you part of the way here. BUT ….. I am of the opinion that whenever one uses the phrase TRUE SUB or TRUE anything, they are all of a sudden imposing their rules on someone else.
IMO – the real D/s relationship is the RELATIONSHIP, the way 2 people relate to each other. And though I have never really met anyone I FELT was a switch, I am willing to imagine that one person can have a true submissive RELATIONSHIP to one person while having a TRUE dominant RELATIONSHIP with another – either in parralel or sequentially. I personally would wonder about their development as a human, but that is not to deny them the chance to switch.
Secundo Dharma
Great to know one can be a pervert among perverts… Just because we don’t understand something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Were there any switches at this discussion? (I regret I was not up on reading my schedule, and the 30 minute reminder came 2.5 hours too late for me.) …
I hesitate to explain this. But – for what it is worth – for me, with people who get it, I am one thing or the other; I am submissive to many, and Dominant to a few. It is a very different frame of mind, and shifting back and forth is NOT comfortable or desirable to me.
With people who do NOT really “gett it” (D/s etc.) I can roleplay more flexibly, because I may be playing closer to vanilla then otherwise, with just such flavor as they seek.
I do not assume my personal experiences howqever are norm; not enough RL experience to know, and I am not that arrogant.
But can we hesitate please to marginalize those we define as kinkier then us?
@Cloud – Good point in your post.
There was people switching at the discussion and I just want to clarify one thing so the further discussion doesn’t get misunderstood.
The discussion group. as well as this blog, extists in order to show the multitude of opinions and expressions that exists with in the domain of BDSM and it will never be a forum to establish a norm.
‘
Every opinion, idependant of RL/SL experiences is accepted, but of course also subject to discussion as some people might agree or disagree. And we will probably on an individual level learn something from that.
Hmmm a switch, what is a switch, am i a switch?
Actually yes i am very much so – it’s highly dependant on who i am with, what feelings they invoke in me. For example, a Dominant character, whether they are full time Dominant or just playing a temporary role, will invoke a deep seated need in me to fall to my knees and kiss feet! lay there and be controlled, played with and generally abused.
However, place a little subbie in front of me, one who is meek, mild, subservient, compliant and docile and out comes the Domme Harridan from Hell with the big patent leather thigh-high boots – ok that’s a touch of an exaggeration but you get the idea of what i mean.
Much of the time in my experience i have seen those claiming to be true submissives generally rant and rave in a most un-submissive type manner. other times i have seen those claiming to be true dominant get walked all over by a bright intellectual strong willed, opinionated self proclaimed submissive – er, sounds like me!
Anyway – i ramble, just like Cat, did ya notice yet?
I am happy within my little role, switching between the two, days when i am more proficient at one than the other – days when i can just bend over and bow to another’s will, days when if someone tried to dominate me they most likely would walk away with a severe limp (limp what i’ll leave to your imagination).
BDSM D/s Gor Fetishism, whichever realm you choose you will discover such a diversity that i feel pigeon holing people with titles is not only futile but pointless, you can give titles to people within individual relationships but not something generic as often this leads to confusion.
I’m fairly certain i’ve talked long enough about a subject dear to my heart, and probably confused a few people on the way as i tend to hop about all over the place typing stuff as it pops into my head, which normally is embroiled in various activities such as, who can i hit later, or what’s for tea, or even better ‘wouldn’t it be nice to have a spanking right now’
i’ll be back later to check on this subject – me likey lots long time peeps
oh that’s my effort at trying to be mildly amusing.. did it work?